Inhale, exhale


Simplify and breathe…look at the bigger picture

It’s raining again after a blast of sunshine earlier part of the day. It’s a gentle kind of rain – the chubby rain drops splashing gently on the road, showering the plants that are now looking perkier than before. Through the window of my temporary office,the cadence of raindrops tease my imagination into seeing a huge army (a battalion perhaps?) of ants marching through the rain or the Smurfs happily hiking through the urban jungle while remaining vigilant against an ambush by the malefic Gargamel.

I’ve always equated rain with sad thoughts ever since I was a child. The sun was – it still is – my best friend, not the rain. So on days like this, I’d be plummeting into the abyss of negative thoughts. My mind sifts through my land mine-thoughts, triggering animosity towards my immediate surroundings and to the morning’s past events particularly when I happen to be the person next to the office harridan when we arrive at work. Her crudeness and rudeness always raise my hackles and, for a good part of the morning, I’d be grouchy and heaven help the person that rubs me the wrong way again. But today I went my merry way being neither congenial or hostile, just oblivious to her. Perhaps, I thought to myself, she grew up not knowing how to engage in small talk and that rudeness is acceptable behaviour in her family.

Harridan out of the picture, languidness would then slowly take a hold of me through the course of the day, dragging shrieking me to the precipitous gorge of sanity. There are days – most of them actually – I just want to break free of the monotony of work, and indulge in what makes me happy (at my age, I’ve given myself permission to be a little selfish and self-centered; I’ve done my share of being considerate, which others have yet to learn at this point in their lives). But this time I buckled down to my drab routine, switched on the computer and proceeded to complete whatever paperwork needed completion. Listlessness at work is easier to solve than having no source of livelihood, I lectured myself. And I’m happy to report that the mountain of paper has now transmogrified into a hill on the desk that’s starting to reveal itself.

This new mindset wouldn’t have shone through the rain without my mum’s words dovetailed with a smiley emoticon: “Learn to look at the bigger picture and not only at what’s immediate.”

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